Forever
by LoverofDogs94
Summary: She gave him something to fight for. AU of the ending of 5x15


I don't own The Good Wife. If I did, this would be canon.

Just a little snippet of what could have been, if Will pulled through

* * *

She found him sitting at his desk, head in his hands, a pink scar slightly visible above his shirt on his neck. His jacket was draped over his chair, and his baseball was on the floor several feet from his desk.

Taking in the scene, Alicia took a deep breath.

"Babe, are you ok?"

His shoulders slightly shrugged.

"Will?"

Still not getting a response, she went over to his desk, and pulled his extra chair around to the back, and sat next to him. Rubbing circles on his back, she questioned him again.

"What's wrong?"

Snapping his head up, and using his right hand, he gestured from the top of neck and down his left arm.

"This! This is wrong."

He lifted his shaking left arm towards her.

"Do you see this? Do you? It is weak. It shakes. I used to be able to work 16 hours straight through. Now? Now I can only work maybe two hours, before I need to stop and rest it." He pointed to ball that was lying on the floor.  
" I used to be able to throw that ball with either hand, and catch it with either hand. I was practically ambidextrous, Alicia! I can barely throw it with my left hand, let alone catch it. My arm is worthless. Who wants a lawyer with a gimpy arm, that shakes? I wish that bullet would have killed me."

He said the last part so bitterly, Alicia had to close her eyes, and breathe deeply.

"Will look at me, no, LOOK AT ME. You are not worthless. You aren't. All of you clients still want you, "gimpy" arm, and all. Look around you! Do you see all these get well cards they have sent you since the shooting? They need you, Will. You fight for them, with all you have."

He tried to interrupt him, but she cut him off.

"I'm not finished. I know you used to have great hand eye coordination, but it might not come back. You need to accept that. And as for wishing you would have died? The doctor said the bullet should have killed you, but you fought to stay alive. You SHOULD HAVE died. You didn't. You decided something was important enough for you to stay alive. You need to remember what that is when days get hard."

Will finally met her eyes, and gave her a half smile.

"You."

"What?"

"You. You were my reason for fighting. The thought of dying, without telling you that I love you? That was scarier than death itself. That was why I stated alive, for you. You were my only reason."

Alicia knew he loved her. They had gotten together a few months after the shooting. She and Peter had split up, while Will was still in a coma. The governor apparently didn't like she was spending days on end waiting for another man, who might not ever wake up. When he did start to wake up, the first words he would mumble out were, "Leesh. Tell, tell Leesh, love her." She heard those words and made her choice.

"I was the only reason?" She sounded shocked. She thought it was his sisters, maybe work, maybe a small part for her, but for her to be the only reason?

"Yes."

"Why? I was so awful to you!"

"I know, but that's the crazy part. I knew that if I died, you would never know how much I still love you."

Grasping his hands in hers, she replied.

"I love you too, William Paul Gardner. Gimpy arm and all."

He smiled, and then frowned again.

"I have scars."

"I love your scars. That make you look tough."

"I'm not Peter."

"Thank God."

He laughed.

"I'm not perfect. I never will be."

"You are perfect for me. I wish I had only realized it sooner."

Will pulled in for a kiss, and then held her for a long time. When she went to leave, he confirmed their date for that night, and after she left, he sat and thought for a long time. He made a decision, and smiled to himself.

After dinner that evening, they went for a walk. They found a park and sat on a bench, sitting in comfortable silence, when Will decided it was time. Finding the small box in his pocket, he got down on one knee in front of Alicia.

"Alicia, I love you. I have ever since I met you at Georgetown, our first year of law school. I learned this past year that life is too short, and you can't wait around forever. This afternoon in my office, I realized I want you, forever. I want to have good timing with you. I want to wake up next to you everyday. I want to kiss you goodnight every evening. I want to share all the mundane details of our lives, I want to share all the little moments with you. Forever." He opened the ring box. "Alicia Veronica Cavanaugh, will you marry me?"

With tears spilling down her face, Alicia managed to croak out a yes.

"I love you, Will."

"I love you, too Alicia."

"Thank you for never giving up on me."

He smiled at her.

"All we needed was good timing."

* * *

Review please?


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